Title:

Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

Author:

Jesse Q. Sutanto

Category:

Mystery / Thriller

Rating:

Date Reviewed:

August 25, 2023

read a review on Bookpage that described Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers as "...brims with humor..." and "...a cozy mystery worth reading for its hilariously meddlesome titular character". The blurbs on the front and back covers say "A compulsively readable story with intrigue, humor, and above all, heart" and "laugh inducing, heartwarming and fabulously crafted. A joy to read." and "Heartwarming, charming and laugh-out-loud funny". Reading those blurbs, I had the impression this book was funny, perhaps as good as The Rosie Project. But it isn't the least bit humorous. I am not sure that Sutanto even tries to tell any jokes in this novel. Perhaps those reviewers found it funny how sixty-year old Vera Wong bullied all of the meek young adults around her, but I quickly tired of Vera's demands and meddling. She was my least favorite character, and I found myself checking how many pages remained in the book to decide if I should just set it aside. It is 333 pages in trade paperback format; if it had been any longer, then I doubt I would have trudged to the end.

Vera Wong owns a dusty old tea shop, but no one ever visits. Each day, Vera's sole patron is Alex, and she secretly know that Alex only visits because he feels sorry for her. But then one morning, Vera comes downstairs (she lives above the tea shop) and discovers a dead man lying on the floor of her shop. He has broken the glass and entered the shop before expiring. Vera has seen plenty of detective shows on TV, so she knows exactly what to do. The police are called, and when they appear, Vera gives them advice on how to proceed, based upon her TV-viewing knowledge. For instance, Vera has drawn an outline around the body lying on the floor. She also tries to serve tea to the investigating team, but the rude police just brush of her suggestions. They seem to think that the man died of natural causes, so they don't bother to dust for fingerprints or deploy any CSI techniques.

Vera is undaunted. She figures that she would make an ace detective, and so will solve the murder herself and amaze everyone. Besides, Vera has a trump card - she swiped the USB stick that was clutched in the dead man's hand. The police identify the dead man as Marshall Chen, but Vera already knows his name because she snuck a peak at the contents of the deceased's wallet before the police arrive. Vera likes to claim that she must take on the investigation because the police are incompetent, but actions like this reveal Vera intended to play detective from the start, before the investigation team ever arrived from the police station.

Having watched innumerable crime shows on TV, Vera is convinced that the killer always returns to the scene of the crime. Thus, Vera finds that she has four suspects, because these people all stop by her Tea Shop after Marshall's death:

• Julia - the young widow who was married to Marshall. Julia once was a bright woman with a knack for photography, but being married to Marshall has given her nothing but self-doubt and a two year girl, Emma, who is super annoying. The night of his death, Marshall had informed Julia that he was leaving her. So Julia had packed all of Marshall's things into bags to throw him out - which makes her look suspicious to the police.

• Oliver Chen - the identical twin brother of Marshall. Where as Marshall was always dynamic and self-assured ( Sutanto makes sure that Marshall has no redeeming qualities, so that the reader doesn't mind that someone killed him), Oliver is sensitive and meek, always take the rap for Marshall's transgressions. Also, Oliver was always secretly in love with Julia, and so he has motive to kill his own brother.

• Sana - a young woman who is (badly) pretending to be an on-line reporter with a professional interest in Marshall's murder, but it is clear Sana had a connection with Marshall; Vera can spot Sana's guilty conscience in a heartbeat. Sana is really a talented artist who is suffering from artist's block - she stands in front a blank canvas on her easel and cannot think of a thing to paint.

• Riki - a young tech worker from Indonesia, he pretends to be a true-crime podcaster. Riki's conscience is as guilty as Sana's, it obvious to Vera that Riki is hiding a prior relationship with Marshall.

The investigation commences, and Vera proceeds to cook mountains of food for the four suspects - the reader is constantly assured that every item is wonderfully delicious, no matter how many different dishes Vera whips up. Vera blurts out things best left unsaid, she respects no personal boundaries. The four suspects always meekly obey Vera's demands; and thus are magically transformed into better people. Even the annoying Emma is transformed into a sweet child. Yet despite this spinelessness, I found that I actually liked the four suspects, which is why I gave this book two stars instead of one.

Not only is Vera super annoying, but the mystery of who killed Marshall is dismal. It makes no sense, as I shall explain in the spoiler section.

I don't recommend Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, and I will avoid any future books written by Sutanto, no matter how funny the reviews might claim they might be.